Thursday, 6 January 2011

Oh the shame!

I've been having a lot of problems with my knees - the right one in particular - and after much wincing, oohing and aahing at work today Viveka made me call Bupa.  I've had many operations on my knees over the years so needed a referral letter from my GP to be able to go and see the consultant in York.  As 'luck' would have it my doctor had a free appointment this evening so off I hobbled.

I have a great doctor, she's really caring, never rushes you and always listens.  She asked me if it was OK that she had two medical students with her.  No problem, said I.  My opening gambit was 'it's about my knee..' and that was it, her eyes lit up 'ooh good' she said, 'these two young gentlemen are doing a muscular-skeletal rotation and we haven't had any knees yet today - over to you Tom'.  So the rather handsome, clean cut awfully proper young Tom politely asked me if he could ask me some background questions....  I won't bore you with the details.... then he asked if I would mind if he examined my knee on the couch.  Not at all, said I.  Up I hopped - then horror of horrors, he asked if I could roll up my leggings just as it dawned on me that I had not shaved my legs!  Indeed, I cannot even remember the last time I did!!  The lovely Tom proceeded to prod and press my hairy, lumpy, parchment dry knees whilst I turned a brighter shade of beetroot in shame.

It didn't take long for me to realise that at the tender age of what, twenty something, Tom did not care what state my mouldy old legs were in - I was invisible and he was very pleased to be pushing and pulling my limbs around with fascination and then rather shyly and blushing a much milder shade of pink he proceeded to report his findings to my doctor.  Phew - not sure if I should be relieved or crestfallen but I tell you something, tonight I'm getting in the bath with a generous dollop of the lovely Sanctuary bath cream that my sister gave me at Christmas and I shall get the chain saw out to shed my hairy old pins of all vestiges of hair and then lather on an even more generous dollop of moisturiser.

Last time I found myself in a situation where I confided in my friend that I was in no fit state to be intimate with any man in any way, shape or form she gasped in horror and declared 'Julia, one should always be prepared!'  OK, so a young medical student is not exactly the same thing but she was right - one should always be prepared so I am adding that to my list of little 'promises' to myself for 2011.

Hope you are having a good week - I'm sure time is going much more slowly in 2011!



  1. Oh dear! This made me giggle. I hope your chest isn't hairy too like the Marilyn in the picture. xx

  2. Ha ha ha! Jules that is brilliant - thank you sooo much for sharing :-D


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